Many many many thanks to Adel for the spectacularly wonderful present. I love it so much <3
I feel so happy, haha.
Hyde and Kaz. Crazy sexy cool personified.
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Vamps wheee
Many many many thanks to Adel for the spectacularly wonderful present. I love it so much <3
I feel so happy, haha.
Hyde and Kaz. Crazy sexy cool personified.
Shell
After everything I went through in NS, I assumed I would become better at dealing with people.
Today, I found out how wrong I was.
I'm hurting friends I don't intend to hurt. I make promises I'm unable to keep. I disappoint people with everything I do. I hate myself for being unable to deal with all of it, and for being a horrible person, a lousy friend. I try to fix my mistakes, but cowardly hold back, fear of further failure clouding my judgment.
Sometimes, I just wish I could go somewhere quiet. A large field, empty from horizon to horizon. Or a mountaintop. Or a deserted island. And there I'd just be free. Away from everything.
Yet these bonds prove harder to break day by day. They define me, and at the same time, they rob me of my identity. The irony is almost impossible to bear.
I'm tired.
I want to be free.
Today, I found out how wrong I was.
I'm hurting friends I don't intend to hurt. I make promises I'm unable to keep. I disappoint people with everything I do. I hate myself for being unable to deal with all of it, and for being a horrible person, a lousy friend. I try to fix my mistakes, but cowardly hold back, fear of further failure clouding my judgment.
Sometimes, I just wish I could go somewhere quiet. A large field, empty from horizon to horizon. Or a mountaintop. Or a deserted island. And there I'd just be free. Away from everything.
Yet these bonds prove harder to break day by day. They define me, and at the same time, they rob me of my identity. The irony is almost impossible to bear.
I'm tired.
I want to be free.
Cosfest!
Haven't updated in awhile, been too busy getting ready for cosfest.
AND IT'S OVER.
Had so much fun. Like, really alot of fun. Gawd. So fun. And so tiring. I'm about ready to collapse right now.
I'll do just that.
WILL UPDATE MOAR.
AND IT'S OVER.
Had so much fun. Like, really alot of fun. Gawd. So fun. And so tiring. I'm about ready to collapse right now.
I'll do just that.
WILL UPDATE MOAR.
It's nice going out alone, once in awhile
Woke up feeling really heavy today. There's been way too many things on my mind lately, their collective weight a heavy burden upon my feelings.
Morning football helped ease it a little. On the court, the feelings disappear, and for those couple of hours I was happy. Sadly, it only lasted that long. Falling asleep on the train ride home didn't help much.
After a shower, and mulling about at home for a period, decided to leave house and pick up a couple of things I was in need of. Beforehand, I asked around a couple of friends, but no one was available. So I decided to go it alone.
Although in the end, I only managed to obtain 2 of my 4 objectives for the day, the time spent alone sorting out my thoughts made me feel good about myself again. It's relaxing knowing that one can walk free without the stresses of life and people.
Morning football helped ease it a little. On the court, the feelings disappear, and for those couple of hours I was happy. Sadly, it only lasted that long. Falling asleep on the train ride home didn't help much.
After a shower, and mulling about at home for a period, decided to leave house and pick up a couple of things I was in need of. Beforehand, I asked around a couple of friends, but no one was available. So I decided to go it alone.
Although in the end, I only managed to obtain 2 of my 4 objectives for the day, the time spent alone sorting out my thoughts made me feel good about myself again. It's relaxing knowing that one can walk free without the stresses of life and people.
I was searching
I had one of those moments.
The path had always been right there, glaringly obvious to my avoiding eyes. Fearful, I stubbornly chose the alternatives, the convoluted side-tracks leading me to where I stand right now.
The middle of nowhere.
Confusion sets in; the belief and confidence in the path taken shattering like a mirror, jagged shards a stark representation of the broken spirit beneath my facade. Emotions coalesce into anger, first directed towards others, and then towards myself. Frustration follows, a raging torrent held back by the once stalwart confidence, now let loose and furious. Painfully it passes, and in it's wake comes profound sadness, and the slow but sure understanding of the futility of it all.
It all happens in the space of minutes. Hard-hitting, powerful emotions rend havoc, the vulnerabilities of the soul laid bare.
Yet, there always existed that faint glimmer of hope. Distant, yet visible, the right path called out, offering a life-line out of the dismal abyss.
I grab it, and I cling on tight, any and all hesitation discarded.
Once again, I stand before the right path.
Forgive me for being dramatic and all, but I just felt the need to type this all out.
The path had always been right there, glaringly obvious to my avoiding eyes. Fearful, I stubbornly chose the alternatives, the convoluted side-tracks leading me to where I stand right now.
The middle of nowhere.
Confusion sets in; the belief and confidence in the path taken shattering like a mirror, jagged shards a stark representation of the broken spirit beneath my facade. Emotions coalesce into anger, first directed towards others, and then towards myself. Frustration follows, a raging torrent held back by the once stalwart confidence, now let loose and furious. Painfully it passes, and in it's wake comes profound sadness, and the slow but sure understanding of the futility of it all.
It all happens in the space of minutes. Hard-hitting, powerful emotions rend havoc, the vulnerabilities of the soul laid bare.
Yet, there always existed that faint glimmer of hope. Distant, yet visible, the right path called out, offering a life-line out of the dismal abyss.
I grab it, and I cling on tight, any and all hesitation discarded.
Once again, I stand before the right path.
Forgive me for being dramatic and all, but I just felt the need to type this all out.
Clients say the darndest things
This happened to me 2 days ago.
I've been doing designs for a client for about a week now.
He keeps asking me to 'reduce transparency'. I took it that he wanted it lighter, so I kept adjusting each version as he keeps asking me to reduce it more and more.
Then he decides to call.
Client : Hello? Isaac?
Me : Hi, yea.
C : Hey, I just got your design.
M : Yep.
C : Did you reduce the transparency?
M : Umm, yea. I did exactly that.
C : Oh... okay...
(short pause)
C : Have you even been to our building?
M : You mean ********? (censored so I don't get my ass sued)
C : Yea yea. You been here before right? Did you get a look at the windows?
M : ... Windows?... Oh.
And then, it clicked. I finally realized what he wanted.
He wanted me, to make the design translucent.
On the computer screen.
So like, I'm either Tony Stark, or Houdini apparently.
I've been doing designs for a client for about a week now.
He keeps asking me to 'reduce transparency'. I took it that he wanted it lighter, so I kept adjusting each version as he keeps asking me to reduce it more and more.
Then he decides to call.
Client : Hello? Isaac?
Me : Hi, yea.
C : Hey, I just got your design.
M : Yep.
C : Did you reduce the transparency?
M : Umm, yea. I did exactly that.
C : Oh... okay...
C : Have you even been to our building?
M : You mean ********? (censored so I don't get my ass sued)
C : Yea yea. You been here before right? Did you get a look at the windows?
M : ... Windows?... Oh.
And then, it clicked. I finally realized what he wanted.
He wanted me, to make the design translucent.
On the computer screen.
So like, I'm either Tony Stark, or Houdini apparently.
Not now
3 hours to jamming and I've yet to nail down the new song. Life's just been to packed as of late.
And I'm starting to develop a flu. So much for 'faking' for an MC.
Good thing I've got some meds, should provide some temporary relief for now.
And I'm starting to develop a flu. So much for 'faking' for an MC.
Good thing I've got some meds, should provide some temporary relief for now.
And... Here it is
Saw this moment coming weeks ago, yet I didn't bother doing something about it.
And now, it's here.
The Cosfest rush.
And it's piling up all my other commitments. Everything's just sucha mess right now.
Must... keep... fighting...
And now, it's here.
The Cosfest rush.
And it's piling up all my other commitments. Everything's just sucha mess right now.
Must... keep... fighting...
Portfolio
Objective : To have a complete portfolio by the end of August.
Target : 10 pieces of new CGs, inclusive of at least 2 backgrounds.
Deadline : 31st August.
Here it comes, the moment i've dreaded for the last year or so.
Gonna use this thread as a progress update, to make sure im churning out the CGs on good time.
CG1 - Ophelia [DONE!]
CG2 - Airfield [DONE!]
CG3 - Mayo [DONE!]
CG4 - Aaron's overdue birthday present [NOT DONE]
CG5 - Milk [DONE!]
CG6 - 12 Gauge piece [DONE!]
CG7 [NOT DONE]
CG8 [NOT DONE]
CG9 [NOT DONE]
CG10 [NOT DONE]
T_T why didn't i do more work the last few months.
*OBJECTIVE FAILED*
sigh.
Target : 10 pieces of new CGs, inclusive of at least 2 backgrounds.
Deadline : 31st August.
Here it comes, the moment i've dreaded for the last year or so.
Gonna use this thread as a progress update, to make sure im churning out the CGs on good time.
CG1 - Ophelia [DONE!]
CG2 - Airfield [DONE!]
CG3 - Mayo [DONE!]
CG4 - Aaron's overdue birthday present [NOT DONE]
CG5 - Milk [DONE!]
CG6 - 12 Gauge piece [DONE!]
CG7 [NOT DONE]
CG8 [NOT DONE]
CG9 [NOT DONE]
CG10 [NOT DONE]
T_T why didn't i do more work the last few months.
*OBJECTIVE FAILED*
sigh.
Tired, tired, tired.
It's been a week since cosfest and the DMD chalet.
And i'm still burned out from it.
Had a hell lot of fun tho. Cosfest was uber epic. Chalet was rather successful. (cept' for the overload of food... thanks kit)
Went on day 1 as Rorshach. I had like 10% vision with the mask on, but i at least made out rough shapes. Day 2 i went as Alucard. This is my 3rd time doing him, and i think i finally managed to get the look down to about 90% correct. I hope.
Credits to Kirmu for the pics.
Today, we did a photoshoot at a studio. This being the first time for all of us, we wasted a ton of time, and ended up having to extend an hour. Even with that, we had to rush our shots. But we still managed to get a buncha good ones in the end. Will post 'em up once editing is done.
And i'm still burned out from it.
Had a hell lot of fun tho. Cosfest was uber epic. Chalet was rather successful. (cept' for the overload of food... thanks kit)
Went on day 1 as Rorshach. I had like 10% vision with the mask on, but i at least made out rough shapes. Day 2 i went as Alucard. This is my 3rd time doing him, and i think i finally managed to get the look down to about 90% correct. I hope.
Credits to Kirmu for the pics.Today, we did a photoshoot at a studio. This being the first time for all of us, we wasted a ton of time, and ended up having to extend an hour. Even with that, we had to rush our shots. But we still managed to get a buncha good ones in the end. Will post 'em up once editing is done.
Work Hiatus
Won't be doing much work for the next few weeks, till the end of Cosfest. Just got too much on my plate at the moment.
Will be doing my best to seriously start working on that portfolio after that tho. The amount of work i have now is just pathetic.
Will be doing my best to seriously start working on that portfolio after that tho. The amount of work i have now is just pathetic.
Ahead - 2009's to do list
2008 has been a rather wasteful year now that i look back at it. There were alot of things i wanted to do that never happened. So now, to help me remember, imma make this list so i have something to look at and remind myself constantly.
In no particular order.
• Driving Lessons
Car and bike.
Start - ASAP
Hopefully done by - Mid '09
• Japanese Lessons
Wantin to do this for a loooong time.
Start - Mid '09
Hopefully done by - This might take awhile.
• Learn to play bass
Gonna get a bass with Jan' pay.
Start - Once i get the bass.
Hopefully done by - Mid '09?
• Cosplay
Err, think i'll do a seperate post for this.
• T-shirt Design
Design T-shirts based on inspiration by J-rock.
Start - ASAP
Hopefully done by - Plan to sell at EOY '09
• Card Game Project
More here [LINK]
Already started.
Hopefully done by - Tentatively, plan to sell promo cards at EOY '09.
• Story Idea - INQ
Work on my own story/world idea.
Already started.
Gonna keep workin' on it.
• Story Idea - 12 Gauge
Work on my own story idea.
Already started.
Gonna keep workin' on it.
• Portfolio
This one is a permanent item on this list.
That's all i can think of for the moment, pretty sure there's a couple more..
Iz
In no particular order.
• Driving Lessons
Car and bike.
Start - ASAP
Hopefully done by - Mid '09
• Japanese Lessons
Wantin to do this for a loooong time.
Start - Mid '09
Hopefully done by - This might take awhile.
• Learn to play bass
Gonna get a bass with Jan' pay.
Start - Once i get the bass.
Hopefully done by - Mid '09?
• Cosplay
Err, think i'll do a seperate post for this.
• T-shirt Design
Design T-shirts based on inspiration by J-rock.
Start - ASAP
Hopefully done by - Plan to sell at EOY '09
• Card Game Project
More here [LINK]
Already started.
Hopefully done by - Tentatively, plan to sell promo cards at EOY '09.
• Story Idea - INQ
Work on my own story/world idea.
Already started.
Gonna keep workin' on it.
• Story Idea - 12 Gauge
Work on my own story idea.
Already started.
Gonna keep workin' on it.
• Portfolio
This one is a permanent item on this list.
That's all i can think of for the moment, pretty sure there's a couple more..
Iz